well, which would you prefer...?

never the aggressor. never one to choose. indecisive and laid-back. i was taught not to make demands. that's just the way these things go. i am inhibited. unless you get enough of the cold, amber waves of grain down my throat. perhaps then, i can muster up the courage to transform into the shot-caller.

how can i call the shots if i don't know what i want? choices and options have been few and far between, rarely laid before me. i merely agreed. that's what i thought i was supposed to do. just follow, follow, obey and agree. no matter what.

i am pressed into this confining box of insecurity. worrysome and only one goal in my heart. that is why i have no answers.

intoxicate me blind, and pour me into a situation; there might be a chance for me to perform with the ability of a seasoned actress.

i know nothing, i am nothing. i am scared and incapable. insecure. i aim to please, but i don't know how. so scared to make a mistake, to be a fool, to be held up unfavorably in comparison.

there's just so much i don't know.

posted by: less-than3

spoke the truth!

[if you like what you read, please clix me!]

7:15 p.m.
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