i'm a stitch away from making it, and a scar away from falling apart
so i've got my first song almost 100% complete. the arrangement is done, and i'm just finalizing the 3rd and 4th verse lyrics. it'll be ready for my singer/songwriter debut next month. yep. it's going to happen, most likely. eric's production company is putting on another round of plays/music performances, and i'm going to be one of them. as long as i don't chicken out. (hee)
oh, and speaking of songs..."the (after) life of the party" from Fall Out Boy's new CD (yes, it has been leaked) is the most gorgeous thing i've heard in a long time. it takes me to this weird place in my heart, i don't know how to explain it. something full of yearning and regret. having everything you want so close, and yet still out of reach. when i listen to that song, i nearly cry. every single time. so of course i listen to it continually repeating.
as if you're dressed up all beautiful, staring at that one person from across the room that you know you can never truly have. and so you just drink and drink, spinning fantastically. all you want is for them to be happy...you just wish that it were you that would be the reason...
my COBRA payment is due. like...now. and i can't pay it. i want to join weight watchers through work on tuesday...and i can't pay for it. i always seem to only have just barely enough money in my account to get by. right now i've got $300-some-odd, and my COBRA payment is $335. since the credit union was closed on monday, that's 8 hours i don't get paid for. so this week is going to be a short-on-cash week. i'm sporadic with my meds, because hell, i can't afford to get those refilled on the regular. so of course i'm trolling etsy and ebay and hot topic and girlprops because dammit, i want to be beautiful and worth something.
i want to be worth the dream.
posted by: less-than3
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