meredithelaine
you can take the girl out of jersey, but you can't take the jersey out of the girl

5 month milestone


2006-09-03 The current mood of meredithelaine at www.imood.com

today is my FIVE MONTH anniversary of living in san diego. amazing. i said to eric yesterday that it seems as if i should be getting less and less surprised by it as time goes on. but instead, as the months pass, i become more in awe of myself, and more impressed. another month of i'm doing this MYSELF and i'm doing alright (even if i'm STILL in debt and i don't have a perm job and i'm in the TEENIEST apartment known to mankind -- but we're not talking about those things right now). the fact of the matter is that i took a chance, and i'm making it happen. i packed up whatever could fit in the hyundai tucson, drove across the country (with eric by my side for the journey, thank god, or else i would have gone batshit crazy, i'm sure!), and made this happen.

no one ever expected me to do anything like this. well, no one who has known me for a long-long-long time, anyway. and sometimes i wonder...i don't think that my family or friends would ever wish failure upon me. i don't think they'd sit around hoping that i'd return to NJ within a few months, tail between my legs. well, not my friends anyway. sometimes i wonder about my family, though -- but that's another story altogether. but i DO sometimes wonder if anyone really had faith that i'd MAKE it. not that i've MADE it, really. i mean, i'm not succeeding on any grand scale. but i'm getting by. i'm doing okay. i took a HUGE risk. i became enamoured with a city, came up with a game plan, saved up some money, and put my plan into action. and i just wonder how many people who have known me for a REALLY long time honestly believed that i could pull this off?

i know that you guys (the friends that i've made online -- since that's MOSTLY who reads this. i think every once in a while, someone from the "outside" - heehee - reads this) had faith in me from the start. i know that you guys WORRY about me a lot. and i know that some of you (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE) are fans of giving me the TOUGH LOVE when i need it (and i'm forever appreciative of it, by the way). i guess those of you who have only known me for a year or a few years have seen a stronger version of me from the get-go. yes, even back in 2002-2003 when i was all sorts of fucked up. trust me, i've been more/differently fucked up than that. but you guys have seen your shares of ups and downs with me, no doubt about it. and still, i don't think that your faith in me has ever waivered.

ok...i'm going to stop being all overly sniffly and emo and stuff now. because i'm just going to start bawling if i keep going.

but yeah, happy 5 months in san diego to me!

posted by: less-than3

spoke the truth!

[if you like what you read, please clix me!]

10:52 a.m.
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