THEEEEE talk: mission accomplished
i actually took the high road and did not just leave the letter for them and hide. i waited for them to come home from church, all spiritually refreshed, and asked them if i could talk to them. we sat in the family room to have a "caucus" (our little joke for when we need to talk about something). my mom heated up her coffee and left it in the kitchen, saying she'd grab it on her way back upstairs.
and i said, "no ma, you might want to bring your coffee in here, this is going to take a while."
she said, "OH. this is a CAUCUS."
as we all sat down, she said "are you going to move?" and my dad said, "i bet she's moving to california." and i said, "CAN I PLEASE TALK SINCE I'M THE ONE WHO CALLED THE CAUCUS??"
i started: "just as a preface, you should know that bringing up serious topics with you guys intimidates the hell out of me, and i've already taken 2 xanax. i was going to leave this letter for you guys and hide in my room."
"since this has everything i want to say in it, and i don't want to forget anything i want to say, i'm going to read it, if that's okay with you. all i ask if that you not say anything until i'm done, is that okay?"
they agreed.
so i read it.
my father APOLOGIZED (insert look of shock), that i felt that i couldn't come to him, because that obviously meant he was doing something wrong. i said that i didn't mean to make him feel bad, which he knew, but he wants me to be able to come to him for anything.
my mom isn't THRILLED That i'm going to san diego, because, it's all the way across the country, but she's PROUD of me. they BOTH are. she said all a parent wants is for their child to be happy. she said that if this is going to make me happy, and give me the chance to pursue the things i want to pursue, then she's behind me 100%.
they're both proud and impressed with how much work and research i've put into it already. and how i'm going to bring it up with my company and try and get a transfer. my father has already said he'll give me his old frequent flier miles, so that if i CAN'T stay with my company, i can fly out there for free before i move, for long weekends, or for a week or whatever, and go job hunting.
it couldn't have gone any better.
i still have to tell my sister. this may be rough, because of my nephew. but she also may be extremely understanding, because i have had to live with the parents a LOT longer than she ever had to. so who knows how that will go.
i was a puddle of mush by the end of the day yesterday. and i ate WAY too much chinese food over the weekend. i ended up gaining 2 pounds at my weigh-in at the shrink this morning. i am NOT pleased. hopefully, though, my stress level will decrease from here on out.
damn. i have to start sorting out all my stuff - for REAL.
thanks everyone, for all your well-wishes for THEEEEE talk and THEEEEE letter with THEEEE parents. you guys have always had my back. and i love you all for it.
estimated date of arrival in san diego: monday, april 3rd. w00t!
posted by: less-than3
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