and i can't sleep without you

2nd entry today... sometimes, i wonder if it's as hard for you as it is for me. sometimes i'm ashamed of myself, and my life. what parts of it have become. night after night, spent alone. afraid to go out. afraid to see what the lovely, bustling metropolis of hatfield has to offer me. (please note the sarcasm there)

one of those spotlights glided across the sky tonight as i drove home from the train station. i wondered if there was some big to-do at wal-mart tonight. what else could there be, here?

ultra-light after ultra-light. i hold each breath in, to try and catch that buzzy feeling i get from the first cig of the day.

it's easier to hide sometimes. but i wish i had that magnetic-ness that you do. i wish i a friend...here. i know that if i ventured out there, to one of the local bars, i'd sit alone in silence, fighting the urge to cry. trying not to look the part of the pathetic girl-lush with no friends.

easy target for the players, you know.

the six-pack did not get me as drunk as i wanted to be. if i'm dizzy and giggling, it's entertaining to me.

and makes the pain of being in the pennsylvania tundra by myself a little bit easier to bear.

posted by: less-than3

spoke the truth!

[if you like what you read, please clix me!]

1:48 a.m.
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