and i'm never really sure if you'll take what i'm saying the right way
not that i'll stop. i won't stop. i can't stop. i don't even think i want to stop. this is just the way that i have been, since i can remember. it gives me some sort of purpose - amusement or annoyance.
everything in extremes. everything is EXTREME now. extreme sports, extreme speed stick, extreme jello.
(extreme meredith?)
everything reverberates in me with such force that i'm always exhausted. pins and needles are more like lightning and earthquakes. each word and breath is either a triumph or a tragedy. it's bad enough that my mind is a playground of extremes, but the older that i get, i realize that my heart is too.
when you feel so horrible about yourself and guilty for not doing enough, or being good enough for the person that you physically punish yourself, is that sickness or devotion? or somewhere between the two? i don't know how to describe how it hurts. how it drags tears down my face, food from my stomach, and sleep from my eyes. does it make me sound crazy? or am i not the only one?
am i the exception or the rule?
posted by: less-than3
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