an entry about maybes
maybe a little consistency would help.
maybe i just need to learn how to play this game a little bit better. "i'm fine, i'm fine." maybe, since blatantly not being okay isn't working...i just have to be okay. maybe it's the only way to not turn people away from me.
(maybe he was right, all those years ago)
maybe i know, deep down, that the ending won't be happy. maybe my life's just not meant to be that way.
maybe i can change my fate, if i change MYSELF. maybe i just have to push down every tear, every insecurity, every doubt, every thing that i've ever pushed down -- maybe i have to hide it all even more. push it further down. maybe that's the key to acceptance. to love. to happiness.
maybe no one wants to see who i really am. maybe they think that they do. maybe they're really wrong. maybe they'll eventually learn. maybe i already know how that will turn out.
maybe it bothers me that i got more attention yesterday from an ex-boyfriend and my semi-stalker than anyone actually in my life.
maybe that's the part that hurts me the most.
maybe i should have tried a long time ago to prevent my heart from getting so fucking big. maybe i should have learned how to be a cold bitch. maybe things wouldn't get to me so much, then.
maybe i should get the fucking hint.
posted by: less-than3
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