better late than never? what a crock of shit!
death and depression become me; this rock star valentine. last night, i was the epitome of sex(iness) and (legal) drugs and rock and roll. until the final words were mine. i didn't want them to be. but silence faded into blackness as the painkillers overtook my senses...numb.
but drugs wear off; and come morning, i found myself in pain -- again.
i want today to be over so i can get into my flannels and sob.
it's fucking frustrating. i'm sick of trying so goddamn hard to the perfect epitome of meredith-ness. Little Miss What-you-want-baby-I've-got-it. it gets me no-fucking-where. i'm not getting any R-E-S-P-E-C-T out of it. i'm not getting anything out of it. i just keep running into brick walls.
i keep getting told to "hang in there, it'll get better."
one should not have to "hang in there" for 29 years. or 10. or 17. my time was always coming -- soon.
soon should not be taking this long.
posted by: less-than3
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