cinnamon toast crunch
2004-09-06 
it's my own insecurities and fears that draw me this way. believe me, i am full of respect; i just do not have the peace of mind or heart to handle that kind of pressure/freedom. my mind spins and thinks too much for that. it's just not me. and for me to say that, well, it terrifies me. how will i be perceived? does that cast ME in a negative light? does that make me a less appealing person?
it's a matter of a point of view - some would say there's a lot to gain. i, however, can only think of what i'd have to lose. because, i'm shy and i'm scared and i'm convinced that in so many ways, i would/i have/i will make an ass of myself. and the grass could very well be greener on the side of the fence on which i am NOT standing.
and that's a chance i just can never see myself taking.
so forgive me, please, when i turn and run.
posted by: less-than3
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