dividing canaan, piece by piece
for you to follow your heart
and not need more blood
from the tip of your star
-- tori amos
trust me, i know i'm not the center of the universe. i've known since i was 12. and i'm reminded everyday.
so you don't fucking have to.
a little "it'll be okay, girl" would've been nice. no matter HOW irrational i am at the time.
but now i see why i'm never told that it'll be okay. because it won't. because i'll always be the fucked up one looking for attention, won't i...?
well, trust me, my friend, there's a LOT i didn't say. why? because i'm ASHAMED. and no matter how much attention/sympathy/help i want, i'm not going to fucking ask for it. i'm not going to tell you all how fucked up i am in grand detail. there's no fucking need anymore. you all know i'm mental...
(i'm sure this will be deleted in a matter of hours)
it is almost 5am and i haven't slept yet. but i'm fucking tired. and i'm cold. in july i'm fucking COLD.
what the hell does THAT tell you?
tomorrow, i start over. clean slate that i intend to keep clean. tonight was my last night of indescretions.
tomorrow, perhaps, i'll sleep all day. that sounds like a fine idea.
posted by: less-than3
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