drugs are fun
and THIS is what i wrote, last night, under that influence. i'm such a weirdo:
11:11. make a wish and go with it.
and i'm just going to go with the rambling, since 2 tylenol with codeine and 2 tylenol PMs have rendered me still in pain, wide awake, and swimming.
it's not as if this is worth reading anymore. drop. drop. drop. ignore, ignore. i remember when my words used to entice - now they just bore. maybe i should hide in my other diaries forever.
soon the large knife-needle may slice its way inside of me, in an attempt to cure what the adjustments have not.
the beautiful echo in my ears is a comforting lullabye - oh, you angel of strings and harmony. i could drown in your fantasy forever. ever-impressive love. your sound never disappoints me.
and wouldn't you rather see the lighter side of me? i am believing that we need the push to hide what is repetitive and deafening. tune it out. it hurts that it wasn't worth a glance, but i understand why.
orange. i don't know why, just...orange.
i'm feeling that urge, but i will not touch it. i am stronger than that.
i wake too often for dreams to embrace me. frozen under layers, but waking in sweat. it sounded like obligation and flew into my ears like a broken promise. but i was awake. i shuddered to the pounding. slumberlike boredom. emotion by rote. i induce what i cannot achieve for myself.
i will not bother you now, fairest star.
my skin is raw with neglect. there is only one reason for the encounter - and i will prepare myself accordingly. wouldn't it be a surprise if i just faded? but i won't, because it is my nature to make things easier for others. i should push for more, but i don't. fleeting fate, at best, is what i am deserving of. i am addicted to the eminent shutdown.
posted by: less-than3
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