meredithelaine
you can take the girl out of jersey, but you can't take the jersey out of the girl

i felt he found my letters and read each one out loud


2004-10-12 The current mood of meredithelaine at www.imood.com

i suppose it's pretty sad when my favorite part of the day is my 1.5-2 hour commute to work. (since i can manage to drive, i've been doing it to save myself the agony of hoisting myself onto the train and up and down the steps in the station)

i passed the colmar inn (of the "i want to give you a massage on my boat" night fame. and this sunday is the karaoke finals -- for $1000. i remember being told about this - the finalists from all the local bars compete for ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS. the karaoke host told me i had it in-the-bag.

if i had not been so freaked out and...stuck up?...towards my supposed karaoke-stalker/masseuse, would i still be going to karaoke night at the colmar, and competing for enough money to pay off ONE FIFTH (do the math, folks) of my debt?!?!?!

*sigh*

maybe i need to loosen up. i mean, seriously, was i at ANY sort of risk with the "stalker", whatsoever? or with the former ex-sorta-work friend (see the weed story from a few weeks back), for that matter? who the hell am i to think that i would actually be hit on?

whoa, time to unpack from the ego-trip, hon.

just because i was in bad situations in the past, doesn't mean they'd happen again, right? maybe i provoked them; maybe it was my fault.

i just don't know anymore.

all i know is that now there are now a million and one karaoke nights in montgomery county, and i'm not going to any of them. the other thing i know is that i could've been $1000 richer.

***

i spent a considerable chunk of time today looking online for a new apartment. since we know it's going to have to happen eventually anyway.

not-so-shocking discovery #1 - i can not afford to live anywhere in NJ (by myself). except for some parts of south jersey (philly burbs) and i'm not certain as to their "sketchiness" factor.

not-so-shocking discovery #2 - i also cannot afford to live in philadelphia and most of its surrounding areas. so it's either go waaaaaaay north or waaaaaaay west.

all quite viable options at this point. starting fresh and whatnot.

(again)

2.5 years ago, i never thought i'd leave philly. now i'm dying to breathe again.

***

the beginnings of a migraine were spinning in my head earlier. waviness at my peripheral vision. AND a sore throat. AND my leg is throbbing.

percoset, anyone?

(i should be quite entertaining this evening...)

***

i haven't weighed myself in a few weeks. maybe i should do that, and induce the long-needed deep, sobbing cry.

posted by: less-than3

spoke the truth!

[if you like what you read, please clix me!]

7:13 p.m.
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