it's a monday-like wednesday (already)
i'm down to 100 mgs of the lamictal (bipolar meds). down from 150. this i have to take very slowly to avoid the disease that burns your flesh off than kills you. lovely side effect of withdrawl, eh?
and i'm taking the wellbutrin (depression/ADD) roughly once every 2 or 3 days. no chance of flesh-eating diseases there, i don't think. but still, withdrawl can be a bitch.
well, i'm exhausted. fuck, i couldn't even talk coherently to my boyfriend last night. he had left me a message to call him, and i got the message when i woke up about 1am. i was all "blurbleaskdjgal;sdkhgas". grand. for someone who claims to love her boyfriend so much, i do a great job of showing it, don't i...?
*sigh*
i woke at 530am. then 536. then 553. then 602. then 605. more exhausted than when i went to bed. took a shower. decided what to wear, put on my make up and did my early-morning email check. and cried.
no reason, really. just cried.
almost missed my train. had to run for it. it was drizzling, so now i had that fun pseudo-sweaty-pseudo-rainy look. that's HOTT.
/sarcasm
dozed on and off on the train, through 2 full plays of taking back sunday's "where you want to be" cd. the nap seemed to help a little bit.
of course, i got off the train, came up from underground, and it was raining. harder than before. so i'm slightly soppy once again.
luckily, my boss isn't in today. i don't think i could deal with more of her snide comments. yesterday she kept saying that i must be losing my hearing because i was screwing up people's names on messages.
i'm sorry if Goldman sounds a lot like Coleman, and that Dana is more of a girl's name so my mind processed it as David. sheesh. my first fucking day back. cut a girl some slack.
and to people using the phone: enunciate. i beg of you.
i no longer have a home phone. today i'll call comcast to see if i can downgrade to basic cable and still get mtv/vh1/mtv2/bet/cmt. that's all i care about, really. then, i'll get a new credit card with 0% finance charges until september 2005, do a balance transfer, and try to get my head above water.
no easy task, considering my debt and my mood.
it's amazing how it's only been a few days, but i can feel the plummet in my mood. not that there's anything i can do about it. because this has to be done.
so i suppose i should apologize in advance to anyone i annoy/worry/hurt/irk in the forseeable future. i'm going to try not to, i mean, i always do. but it's just going to be a little more difficult without my prescribed crutches.
and so it goes...
posted by: less-than3
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