it's just my chance to say...

first, the non-serious part of the entry: last night at the club, some random came up to me, telling me that it was his 25th birthday, and that he wanted a kiss. (yes, he was hammered) he jumped in for the kill. one of those split-second moments that seemed to happen so quickly, but almost in slow motion. (ew! duck, meredith, duck!) i turned away, and the birthday boy got a mouthful of cheek. oh yes, he was open-mouthing it. *shudder* totally wanting to make out. his friends laughed at him for getting shot down.

(happy birthday, dollface)

gotta love a meredith story, huh?

now for the serious part: i thought a lot about my whole...upset-ed-ness these days. and, obviously, i'm frustrated. i'm frustrated at the whole situation i'm in regarding my bf. distance is HARD. and to love someone so much, and miss someone so much...and be so far away. and living in the world of "who knows when we'll see eachother again", because, well, we're both adults, both have jobs and lives and responsibilities that, unfortunately, don't always mesh. timing is an evil bitch, sometimes.

so i get upset. REALLY upset. and i take it out on...

myself.

the world.

him.

and that's not fair. it's not fair at all. something out of anyone's control. and i cry and scream. at the world. at no one. i get a bit attitudinal. it's no one's fault. and that's hard. there's nothing to throw all the blame on for the way things are. it just is what it is.

i get whiney and bitchy and all the things that make me the not-so-pretty meredith that i despise so much.

acting this way...doesn't help the situation any. it doesn't change a thing. so it's pointless to be this way. to act out.

so.

this is my "i'm sorry."

xox

posted by: less-than3

spoke the truth!

[if you like what you read, please clix me!]

9:33 a.m.
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