i won't be made useless, or be idle with despair
taking back sunday - TWICE! they continue to kick more and more ass every time i see them live. i screamed the lyrics with all the rest of the emo children. bounced up and down and shook my groove thing (yes, it is entirely possible to do that at a rock show). being hoarse and achy never felt so good. adam lazzara is still absolutely beautiful, but he could stand to eat a sandwich or 2. or 20.
i am annie oakley's great-great-granddaughter, or so it would seem. i can shoot a hole through a v8 can from 100 yards.
fear me.
i've only shot a handful of times in my life, last time being 3 and a 1/2 years ago (all with the evil ex *shudder*). so the fact that i seem to have retained my skills (which, in all honesty, is just luck), is a fun, odd little source of pride for me. FUCK YEAH!
moral of the story: don't fuck with me. if i'm armed, i'm dangerous. bitches better back the fuck up, ya heard?
i met my bf's mom. whoa. this was unexpected. so of course, i went into nervous-wreck mode. since she's not local, this was the only opportunity to make a really good impression.
i think i did okay.
there was a group of us, some of his mom's friends were there too. we all had lunch at a chinese restaurant. i hope no one noticed me shaking. i have a feeling it was all internal shaking. a little bit of a panic attack. i had a hard time relaxing.
but, his mom is so nice. she seems to be the kind of person that people would flock to, and want to hang out with. she a very....warm person, is the best way i can describe it. and, i can see where he gets his great laugh and smile from.
i didn't cry the ENTIRE weekend. (until the end of the weekend. but i think that's understandable.)
that's a huge deal for me. as the queen of emotional instability, i managed to keep myself relatively together. i had a few panic attacks, which sucked. i'm getting them more and more. but i rode the wave and didn't crack or freak out like i usually do. i managed to, for the most part, let go of all the crap that's been on my mind as of late, and just concentrate on having a great weekend.
alone again... of course, that happy little bubble burst the minute i got into my car and trekked back to PA.
today, i worked alone. my lone coworker was at a conference for most of the day, which left me to my own defenses. the phone didn't ring much, i took care of payroll, and listened to y100. i think it's a rule at that radio station that they must play at least one pearl jam and one bush song per hour. or else the dj gets fired. or something.
i have no motivation. i couldn't get the energy to make any reference calls today. i'm sure that i won't be unpacked from the weekend until thursday. hell, i can't even bother with dinner tonight. i stood in my kitchen, completely baffled. opened the freezer, took out the breaded-chicken-on-a-stick things. opened the box and promptly put the box back. looked at the frozen lean cuisines. looked in the cabinets at the soups, cans of tuna, and box of hot chocolate.
it just ain't happenin' tonight.
i swear, it's as if the philadelphia area just sucks all the life out of me.
posted by: less-than3
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