just ask the question, come untie the knot, say you won't care
(jeez. give a girl some time to respond. don't get all huffy and log off.)
is it odd that the fact that i'm NOT terribly depressed today is making me depressed (and anxious)?
("i'm in love with my sadness" - smashing pumpkins)
why do i want my company to at least try and get me to stay...?
i'm scared to leave the familiar. no matter how much it has pounded me into the ground. i'm giving up a lot for a giant question mark. sometimes i wonder if i made a mistake. no turning back now, i suppose.
i just wish that i could feel special again. like i matter. like i'm worth something. i've heard of people having bidding wars over them. i guess you just don't bid on admins.
or you just don't bid on meredith.
every once in a while the terror just hits me. knowing that i'm probably making another huge mistake in my life. and that this is how my entire life is going to be. one mistake after another.
after all this time, being 29, i'm still begging for attention and approval.
can i fast forward to the happy ending? because the "i don't know"-ness of my life is killing me, slowly but surely.
"new american classic" has got to be one of the best songs ever. repeat play, baby.
ah, the comforting barbed wire blanket is wrapped back around me, tucked in and tight.
posted by: less-than3
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