meredithelaine
you can take the girl out of jersey, but you can't take the jersey out of the girl

somebody ordered pancakes, i just sip the syzzurp


2004-11-12 The current mood of meredithelaine at www.imood.com

so here i sit. alone. well, alone in my apartment. of course chatting with mah gurl nicole. even chatted with mah long lost lil' sis.

strange days lately. a lot of flux, for lack of a better term. my inside have been all knotted. hence, ergo, why i'm kickin' it here, sippin' on some syzzurp. (anyone remember that song? just looked it up. it's by three 6 mafia) 3 malibu and diets, and 1.1675 coors lights into the evening...

things are starting to take its toll. i'm sure that shocks you all, my beloved readers. as if you couldn't hear it in my voice, or more accurately, read it in my words. i wish i could say that i'm not always this moody/crazy/bizarre.

(you've been around long enough to know this)

i'm such a sucker for a sweet-talker, you know. (paraphrased from taking back sunday) interesting how they've popped up out of the woodwork. this week has been a banner week for random IMers. some of which are refusing to tell me how they found me. and, while you all know how i loooooove attention, it still sends off little red flags.

i think it's natural to giggle and enjoy attention, though. don't you?

ride the wave, yes, that's what i do.

i suppose i should apologize for bitching so much as of late. hopefully, you can understand that my life is in upheaval, and my mind is all in flux. i guess, at my age *cringe*, one just hopes that everything would be settled. all facets of life at least in some state of order. clearly, that isn't the case with me.

will it ever be? who knows. lord knows i wish i knew.

does everyone understand the gravity of the things i've done? it's odd, in a forum such as this (my beloved diaryland, which, quite honestly, without the space in which to write and bitch and vent and swoon, i probably would have had a SERIOUS nervous breakdown by now), to be at the age i am. let's face it, online diaries are more of a...youthful?...venture. how many d-land writers are between the ages of 12 and 19? raise your hands.

(see?)

funny that many that are younger than i have told me how much they can relate to my words. does that mean that they are so far ahead, or i'm so far behind? does it matter? i wish that all i had to worry about were crushes and classes. i miss that. now: work has replaced classes. debt has been added to the mix. and, well, we all know that issues of the heart will always be huge issues for me, no matter how old i get.

so many questions...so little beer. another day, another crisis. such is the life of this drama queen/attention whore/crazy girl.

i wish i knew how, or had the guts to, say all that i need to say. but i never will. never ever. because i wouldn't know where to begin. and regardless, we all know that when i open my mouth and divulge, it's disaster. because i've spent way too much time assuming things (ass out of u and me joke included) that i really shouldn't. i shouldn't jump the gun. i shouldn't count on words. words need to be coupled with actions.

did this entry have a point? yes and no.

i'll leave it up to you all to deduce what you want.



posted by: less-than3

spoke the truth!

[if you like what you read, please clix me!]

11:56 p.m.
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