meredithelaine
you can take the girl out of jersey, but you can't take the jersey out of the girl

too long to wait. you close your eyes over us.


2005-05-25 The current mood of meredithelaine at www.imood.com

right now, i'm wishing these things had done more for me that made me really groggy and sleepy.

and now i have to go to the gym, to the chiropractor, and be Miss HappyPerkyGirl for a job that frankly, i don't give a shit about. i don't give a shit about anything right now.

i'll probably regret this entry later, but what the fuck ever. its taking everything in me not to cry my eyes out right now.

there a lot of things i want to say, but they'll probaby scare and confuse people, so i'm just going to keep it all locked up here insde of me. like i have been for the past week or so.

words are popping up in my head that i haven't thought in a while. but they're back. and i hate fucking acting like i'm just a little down.

no.

in the simple, brilliant words of my chemical romance:

"I'M NOT O-FUCKING-KAY!"

i'm not. i'm not. not when i wake up in tears. not when there's silence and awkward pauses. i don't feel as if there's any reason to try anymore.

i'm pathetic because i try to hint at something. a subtle clamor for attention. but it doesn't work. and i'm too fucking SCARED to speak. because i don't want anger thrown in my face, and i don't want to be abandoned. i never wanted to be burden, an embarassment, a problem. i never wanted to be a pathetic, clinging, needy girl.

but that's how my life has turned out. i'm trying to fight all of those horrible things, but it's so hard. and i'm losing strength. i'm losing the desire to fight anymore.



posted by: less-than3

spoke the truth!

[if you like what you read, please clix me!]

7:37 a.m.
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