meredithelaine
you can take the girl out of jersey, but you can't take the jersey out of the girl

torture at quarter to three


2005-10-22 The current mood of meredithelaine at www.imood.com

entry # 2 of the day, btw

i'm always finding some way to make myself miserable. damn defense mechanism. shooting myself down before i can have a chance to build up any sort of hope.

because hope only leads to destruction. so i smack myself, telling myself that i should know better.

everytime i start to trust, i get let down. everytime i offer, i get shot down. i'd give everything, but only certain terms are accepted.

i concoct stories in my head - dreaming myself to sleep. visions of how i wish my life to be. but of course, slumber snatches them from me all too quickly, remixes them into some evil, bizarre warped form, and plays them back at a different speed.

am i too old to be taking chances anymore? should i just be complacent in my lame, pathetic current state of life?

these thoughts and questions are the tools i use to torture myself in the middle of ALMOST EVERY NIGHT.

posted by: less-than3

spoke the truth!

[if you like what you read, please clix me!]

2:46 a.m.
prev :: next


meredithelaine's recently played tracks:

meredithelaine's most played tracks of the past week:

  • Check out our Frappr!