if you let me be your hollywood
by the time this all rolls around (mid-october), my assignment will probably have ended, and i'll be unemployed. joy. i'm trying to keep my mind off of that right now, while still job-hunting. so i guess i'm NOT really keeping my mind off of it.
god. i just want this place to realize that they need me around to keep helping out. even if/when they get a new HR Administrator/Recruiter -- having an assistant HELPS. clearly i've done a good job. i just want to have stability. i want to have benefits that are taken out of my paycheck for a small amount, as opposed to the $306 i'm paying per month for COBRA. just to have that back in my pocket every month would help me out so much. i'd be able to pay off more of my credit card debt, maybe save a little, and eventually work towards moving out of TheCube. because there ARE actually apartments in this city that i can afford, that have a bedroom that is separate from the living room, PLUS have a FULL, HONEST TO GOD KITCHEN!
but i can't even think about that until i have a perm job. and part of me doesn't want to live alone. granted, right now, i live by myself, but eric and his roommate live one floor below me, so it's not like i'm THAT alone, if that makes any sense.
but if i move to somewhere else -- another neighborhood, another apartment -- i don't know...what if i didn't know anyone in the area? and i really don't want to be roommates/housemates with complete randoms (aka - no answering "roommates wanted" ads on craigslist for me). and i'd certainly miss being just a flight of stairs away from eric.
no sense in fretting over these things now, i guess. since a) i don't have the perm job i need to even start considering moving, and b) i don't have any sort of savings to put as a deposit on an apartment.
to dream the american impossible dream.
posted by: less-than3
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