come and join the living, it's not so far from you, and it's getting nearer, soon it will all be true
the one that i love ended about 24 hours ago, with the last kiss and embrace. just because i don't cry (as much) on these weekends, doesn't mean that it's any easier on me.
...i just thought that my current employment was different. i thought there wasn't that BS back-stabbing talk in an office of 6.
oh, but there is.
i heard it floating from the back room. one on the phone with a national manager about one of our co-workers. confirmation of what i suspected went on in conversations behind closed doors (the conference room, the back office, the kitchen) -- i thought i had escaped that when i left my career-hell in livingston, nj.
not so much.
i remember why i often think that i should just be a professional temp. do my job, smile, collect my pay and leave.
i don't know why it is that i'm always the one in the office that is out of the loop. ignorance is bliss, my ass. who knows what's being said about me in those moments behind closed doors. right now, i have no reason to believe that i'm nothing but the "golden child" -- the president said that i had "sparkle and energy".
ok.
but still...who's to say...? i know one person has said shit about me. unsolicited. assuming that i made some huge fuck up when i didn't. it's just frustrating. it takes all the joy out of what i do. and i can't WON'T work that way.
the joylife is when i'm laughing and dancing. the span between friday afternoon and monday morning. toasting to the good times with my friends. sideways smiles and kisses. warm sleep.
the hell-life is all that's not those hours.
i suppose it's like that for most people. but does that mean i have to tolerate it? ONE LIFE...that's all.
and so the wheels of my mind (yes, i have one, dammit!) start turning, trying to formulate some plan. PLAN B. because i never had a PLAN A, you see.
but a million and one PLAN Bs. eventually one of my plans has to work, right?
and it's fall. it's chilly. my windows are wide open, and my fall uniform of blue velour sweatpants and gigantic U of S hoodie is in full effect.
happy autumnal equinox.
happy miscellaneous.
happy all-of-the-above.
happy everything.
posted by: less-than3
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