and i hope that everything goes through...
because, you know you wanna know.
basically, i'm doing REALLY well. my moodswings are not nearly as violent. which, of course, was alarming for me, because i was worried that i was numb. psych-doc said, "no, you're not numb. you're just used to the extremes. so this is weird for you."
ah, the wisdom of my accountant/computer nerd-looking psychiatrist.
and i'm not "checking" every 2.2 seconds. basically, i used to check my bag to make sure i had my cell, wallet, make-up, iPod, etc.
a typical morning, when i was in philadelphia
check before i leave for work
check after i get in the car
check before i get out of the car
check while i'm waiting for the train
check while i'm on the train
check when i'm getting off the train...
you see where i'm going with this.
but i'm not doing nearly as much, so this is improvement. in fact, the psych-doc actually lowered the dosage of one of my meds, and i'm down to only 1 visit per month, as opposed to every 2 weeks.
the doc also said that the fact that i researched, planned, booked and took my recent vacation all by myself was a HUGE step for me. no one "held my hand," so to speak. i am actually capable of making decisions, and following through with them. doing what i want.
i suppose that's part of what spurned my decision to move in 6 months. the fact that i CAN. i became intoxicated with a city and its inhabitants. why SHOULDN'T i live there? i ain't gettin' any younger, and i deserve to be happy on MY terms.
and if i fail? if i fall flat on my face? then i pack up the tucson and head for my Plan B destination.
you see, i've thought these things through.
and i've accomplished 3 out of the 5 goals i have for myself this week already.
so, i'd say i'm doing pretty damn well.
posted by: less-than3
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