i'm always wrapped up in things i cannot win
my agency also said that they're keeping my info, so if corporate ever gets their heads out of their collective asses, and decides to budget some money, they'll hire me in their office. it's so odd -- hello? they just LOST their service coordinator because SHE QUIT. and i did the SAME JOB in my branch back in NJ. it doesn't make sense to me. but, what do i know.
the weekend was busy. CD release party on friday night for a band that i know through eric. last night was a birthday party at a bar for a friend - several bands played; it was great.
a little muddled in my head last night because of some words said in conversation. a jab to my heart. not on purpose. not out of malice. just a reminder of a truth in my life. i'm trying to put it out of my mind (as i have been) and just stick to each happy moment, but last night, after feeling somewhat not-well for part of the day, and after a few beers -- some tears fell. i didn't bawl, as i would have in the days of yore. i went outside for a smoke, and eric followed me, wiping the tears off my cheeks. i hate when he sees me cry. i told him that it was NOTHING he said that caused it - which is true. but i just didn't want to talk about it. i just wanted to forget the words echoing in my head. i could tell he was concerned.
hell, even the BOUNCER at the door of the bar was concerned. he came over to ask me if i was okay, and if there was anyone's ass he needed to kick! which i thought was very sweet. after that, i regained my composure, because i felt like an ass for attracting THAT much attention, and i wasn't even weeping or carrying on! as we left at the end of the night, he even gave me a hug -- he said i looked like i needed one (aww!).
i've been feeling terribly hideous lately. the fact that i haven't been working and have been lazy and living this "life of leisure" has lead to me eating too much and gaining some weight. and it's killing me. i'm hoping that me getting back to work, will get me back into the routine i was in back in NJ. i should get myself some slim-fast shakes, even though they are HIDEOUSLY expensive out here! i could get them on sale in NJ for $3-4 for a 12 pack. here, they're $5-7. ouch.
i just know i have to nip this weight gain in the bud. i was on a roll for a while. now i'm seeing a new sort of roll -- on my tummy. meh.
OH! funny story from last night -- a meredithstory of sorts. while walking to the bar, i fell. yes. tripped on a crack in the sidewalk (uneven pavement) and went SPLAT! i hadn't had a DAMN thing to drink at this point! and i was walking with my friend who was wearing this boots that were hott, but had a killer heel -- 4 or 5 inches at least. i was wearing platform sandals, but all one level, maybe 2 inches? and i've had them for a while. clearly my shoes were MUCH safer. yet I'M the one who fell.
so i tumbled to the ground. landed on the bottom of my left hand (i guess the "heel" of my hand?), my right forearm/elbow, my right hip/asscheek and right knee. i was wearing brown cords, yet a still have a small scrape on my knee, but not on my hand or arms, where nothing was covered (WTF?). and my hip/ass hurts like a BITCH, and the bruise is starting to show up. LOVELY. i sleep on my sides, so my left side got all numb from sleeping on it all night, because i couldn't lay on my right side. that's how bad it hurts and how tender it is!
i'm just lucky i didn't sprain my ankle. seriously. because i didn't pretty much the same thing my freshman year of college. i tripped on an uneven section of sidewalk/pavement walking out of the computer lab, went SPLAT. ended up spraining my ankle and tearing 2 ligaments. clumsy dumbass that i am. heh. old school readers will remember this episode, when i fell and busted my ankle in my own apartment.
so that's been my weekend. now, i just need to wind down, chill out and hope i get a decent night's sleep before WORK tomorrow. wish me luck...
posted by: less-than3
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