legal shmegal, aka "i hate my life today"
i woke up extra early. 530am, to be exact. started getting ready for work, and heard a drip, drip, drip. there was a leak in my livingroom wall, near the window, and due to the horriffic storm, my window sill, stereo, and air conditioner were covered in water. so i placed a call to maintenance, and busted out some towels and pots.
of course, by the time maintenance arrived, the water had slowed to a light drip, but the maintenance guy said that he would check up on it later, and make sure the gutters were cleaned outside as well.
he left. and the lights dimmed. that's right, now i was in the midst of a brownout. these factors slowed my entire "getting ready for work" process. i missed the 732, AND The 749. so i took the 819 train, which didn't get me into work until about 930.
at 11am i had my deposition.
a lawsuit regarding a former coworker. i have less-than-nothing to do with anything the case is about, but since i work here too, i had to be questioned.
it was nothing less than traumatic. the questions are unclear, and repeated 7 times in as many different ways to trip you up. these questions were not necessarily clear-cut "yes, no, i don't recall" -- at least not to me. the palms of my hands are raw from digging my nails into them. i had to bite my lip to keep from crying. i was directed to ask for clarification if i didn't understand a question. both our counsel, and opposing counsel, when i did ask for clarification, both proceeded to make statements that made me feel dumb and foolish for even asking in the first place.
i don't do well in these types of situations. confronted with our counsel, opposing counsel, and my company's general counsel. i couldn't help feeling as if i did something wrong. if i said the wrong answers, i'd be fired. irrational, yes. but no less of a real emotion.
i asked if i could leave after i was done, and sprinted to the elevator. the counsel handling our side of the case followed me and said "see, that wasn't so bad, right?" i wiped the tears from my eyes, muttered "sure," and stepped onto the elevator.
i spent the next 10 minutes, both on the elevator, and outside the building, drying my eyes, redoing my makeup and otherwise composing myself. i stopped at the wawa and bought some cigs. went to cosi and got my favorite sandwich (roasted turkey with brie and spicy honey mustard).
strangely enough, the first question they asked me was, "are you on any medication that might hinder your ability to answer our questions?"
i should have said "yes, i'm on meds for depression, ADD, and bipolar type 2. can i go home now?"
the only problem with that, is that a) i don't think what little drugs i take anymore hinder me, and b) it is none of their business what the hell i'm on. and i'm sure as hell not going to divulge that in front of the general counsel -- and have it used against me later? HELL FUCKING NO.
***
on the way to the deposition, a homeless man came up to us, and said "i give that smile a 10! it's beautiful! lights up the city!" and E, the general counsel said, "heh heh. THANKS! heh. and who said everyone in philly was bad!" the homeless man said, "i wasn't talking to YOU, i was talking to HER!" and pointed at me. i said, "yeah, E, don't even TRY and play it off like it was about you!"
that was a good thing.
and i talked to my mom briefly today. she put my nephew on the phone, who said "hi, aunt meri!" he has learned how to say my name. i turned into a pile of mush right then and there.
***
so, except for a few shiny moments, today has royally sucked. it is now 2pm. i want to go the fuck home and sleep for the rest of the week.
comfort me? please?
posted by: less-than3
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