i believe i can flyyyyyyy
sometimes it just pisses me off. it pisses me off that the rest of the world (or most of it, anyway. or the part of the world that belongs to me.) doesn't fucking rip their hearts out the way i do. i regurgitate just about every emotion i have out into this diary. i cry more than any girl should have to. i cry over my friends, my family, my boyfriend. i cry for people who don't give a shit about me. i cry for people i barely know. i cry over things that i swear are made up in my head.
and then i write often indecipherable, but yet with intentions clear, diary entries. i write poetry as midnight blue as suicide, and as euphoric as summer-lovin'-had-me-a-blast.
i'm not going to apologize for appearing as if the world revolves around me. this is my way of keeping it real, yo. how many others are there?
not very many. and i'm selfish and delusional for wanting everyone else to emote like i do. life just doesn't happen that way.
it's pathetic though. if i wanted fluff, i'd read US magazine. which i do, from time to time, i'll have you know. i'm not claiming to be fluff-free. i think that is apparent. i think most people can testify to that. i'm giggly and goofy; i crush on rockboys and watch just about every show on VH1. i'd even go so far as to say that i'm an airhead.
it's ok: i'm cool with it.
but there is certainly a difference between being airheaded and being totally devoid of emotion. no one can EVER accuse me of being the latter. i often get annoyed at, and i feel bad for, those who are. who appear motionless.
you only appear it. you're NOT without feeling. it's there. why is it so hard for so many to show?
maybe it's just me.
maybe it makes me brave.
maybe it makes me an idiot.
maybe it makes me a hidden genius.
ps: it's blizzarding. and it's gorgeous!
posted by: less-than3
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