i don't even know what's IN egg nog, but i want some. EXTRA strong
i feel nauseous. nauseous and full of dread. today had flown by in some sort of haze in which i did not eat until 4pm, and i merely wandered from my computer chair to my bed; back and forth, back and forth.
granted, i'm sick. but on top of that, i just have this terrible, terrible feeling. something...is going to go wrong. i tend to almost always have that "the other shoe is going to drop soon" feeling, but today it is STRONG. right now. something is not right. i'm so sick to my stomach. i want to cry. i hope everyone's okay.
my chest hurts. i think i'm having some sort of anxiety attack. time for xanax and bed.
there's so much that i need, but i wouldn't even know how to pinpoint exactly what those things are, and how to ask for them. i don't know how to ask. i think i've been taught not to, somehow. things have always just been provided and shoved down my throat, but not necessarily what i need. i don't know if that makes sense or not. there's a difference between needing advice or guidance, or wanting to be taught about something, and having someone just DO it for you, you know?
that's just one small example.
i just feel like i don't know anything. i feel so fucking invisible.
HELLO? DOES ANYONE FUCKING SEE ME? ME?????
god, i'm just getting myself all worked up and upset and angry. not a wise thing to do at almost 11pm. i wish i had some really really strong egg nog. yeah. i could really go for some fucking NOG.
posted by: less-than3
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